The Old Man
by Ethorin
Summary: Life Sucks, well, when you outlive your friends, your ability to fight, and you're an old Ninja Master who just can't get a damned vacation even though your mystic mojo is killing you... Fortunately, Sword Art Online is just what the doctor ordered... well not really, but you get the drift... right?(moderate Naruto AU b/c I ignore Canon following the Itachi/Sasuke Final Fight)
1. Prologue, Introducing Naruto

_**The Old Man**_

_**A Naruto and Sword Art Online Crossover**_

_**Prologue: An Old Man's Rambling**_

_**This chapter is written from the perspective of Uzumaki Naruto, age, 180, in the form of an internal monologue**_

_I have fought men, I have fought men who believed themselves God, I have fought men who believed themselves Demons, but always, I have fought men, simple Humans. Always, if I did not prevail, I at least survived, those first few I called Precious have long since died of old age, yet still I stubbornly cling to life._

_Now, my body has begun to fail me, for the first time I feel weak. It grows more painful, more stressful, to channel chakra every day. The Hyuuga say that my chakra is still as strong as ever, but my body cannot handle it. Despite my acclimatization to Chakra I still receive Chakra Burns merely by maintaining a Henge for but a few minutes. Hmph, I, who once could effortlessly maintain a physical Henge for days on end, can now barely manage the academy standard version for mere minutes._

_Enough of my problems, at least the World has had peace, True peace, not those back and forth secret skirmishes and battles of words that we once called peace._

_Despite everything, the Fourth Shinobi War was truly a Secret War. Only the Shinobi and a few low ranking local officials even know it happened. Only the Shinobi know that no village will raise its hand against another in anger._

_Unforunately, Daimyo are as prone to pride as ever, and inevitably, someone's pride is hurt. When the Shinobi are ordered to go "Return the Favor" it generally winds up being a co-operative action between the villages involved, with the objective of seeing both Daimyo further humiliated._

_They seem to have gotten the hint._

_Now however, my thoughts turn to the reason I purchased this ramshackle vessel, crewed by the Toads I can still call for now._

_The Daimyo of Fire is too politically savvy to not realize how much of an asset I am. Though few of my missions influenced the wider political landscape, enough did so in a positive way that the Daimyo refuses to see reason. So now I enter self exile for health reasons, both mental and physical in the end._

_Despite my age, I can still crush any Chuunin foolish enough to try to kill me. Though in my youth I favored an "Overwhelming Power" approach, this was not so much my natural inclination and more a combination of my own desire to be "Seen" and a lack of adequate teaching._

_Following the Fourth Shinobi War there was a vast period of comparative peace, few of the old S-Class missions were issued by the Villages, old grudges set aside completely, at least for now. During this time I managed to get myself several highly competent instructors in the fields I was most interested in or needed the greatest help with._

_Although my Taijutsu with the Toad Kata was strong, it was all but useless for me outside of Sage Mode. So I learned from Lee the basic ideas behind why you struck 'here' and not 'there' in 'this way' and not 'that way', and other such basic theories. From there much experimentation and several hundred thousand Kage Bunshin later and I had the rudiments of the technique which would see me into and through my dotage._

_My Ninjutsu had always been considered my strongest point, but all I really had was the Academy Three(minus Bunshin), Kage Bunshin, and Rasengan(and its Variants). Not nearly enough for someone intent on Hokage. And so I found a fellow well versed in the Theory of Jutsu, it was from him that I learned why the "Ram" was such a basic sign, why Kage Bunshin used a Cross rather than any of the 12, how one handed seals were possible and what it took to achieve fluency in their use. Truly, Haku was more skilled than perhaps any realized, certainly no one Team 7 had any real clue._

_Ah, but that was off on a tangent wasn't it? Not really, my last two tutors were on the use of a Zanbatou, to honor the Shinobi who taught me that even at their most Inhuman Shinobi are all too Human. And Senbon and their uses, both in combat and in medicine, in honor of the one who taught me that someone with one to protect is far more dangerous than anyone, fighting for any other reason._

_**After Reaching his Destination, Six Months after the end of his Voyage**_

_In the end, even after I left the Shinobi Nations never did manage to break out into war again. By the time the wounds from the Fourth Shinobi War had healed enough for anyone to be capable of another war all of the generation that had still held grudges had long passed, and the current generation knew only this peaceful state of secretive co-operation between the villages._

_Even I managed to find contentment, creating a Dojo and an Orphanage was somewhat time consuming, fortunately I never was quite as foolish as I appeared so many time in my youth. The precious metals and gems I had been sent off with to enable me to create a new life were more than sufficient to acquire both my desired validations and invest for a source of steady income._

_After arriving I had been lost, for a time I entertained the idea of becoming a Ramen Chef. It did not take me long to discover that such a business was extremely niche, and all the niche's were filled by long established business'._

_It also did not take me long to determine that while, to me, my state, even though its deterioration had apparently stopped, was horrifyingly weak, **here** I was still monstrously strong and my skill was all but unheard of._

_This planted the idea of a Dojo in my head. After seeing several events which would never addhave happened even to an Academy Student who dropped out midway through first year occur. I was set._

_The Orphanage would come later._

_Then I discovered, _Sword Art Online_._

A/N: Phew, that was a long chappie

Ok ok, yes I know, I suck for starting a new one without writing anything for my others, I currently have thoughts germinating in my head for Servant of Hellsing and Memories of the Mangekyo, but my other stories are still very much refusing to co operate...

Anyway, I wrote this because every single story in this section has one of two things be true

Naruto is from Canon or AU Naruto-verse, he can use chakra in the game

Naruto is the name used for an OC who LOOKS like Naruto and has a few similar characteristics but is NOT Naruto

this is basically a story I am writing both for the sake of introducing a "Kick Ass Old Guy" to the cast of SAO, and to add a story where Naruto IS a Ninja, but lacks access to Chakra, while still being damned Awesome.

Assume any and every Canon event not shown occurred according to Canon, this story should not take to long(I predict at most 8 chappies) but is not likely to have a sequel(I have tentative plans for Naruto to die), on the other hand, like all my stories, if you want to roll with it and jump on the wagon, feel free.

Just Remember

Naruto is a Ninja

Naruto cannot use Chakra in the Game

Also, for those who are going to nitpick at the World and the Shinobi existing at once, I have a Link for you

www. fanfiction topic/51526/73027983/1/ Sword-Art-Online-Naruto-Ninja-Naruto-but-no-Chakra

so as to avoid the issue of the site erasing it I have split it up

I am also putting it on my Profile.


	2. Game of Death

_**The Old Man**_

_**A Naruto and Sword Art Online Crossover**_

_**Chapter One: Game Of Death**_

_**This Chapter is written from the perspective of Uzumaki Naruto, age, 181, during the initial months of Sword Art Online**_

_After Kayaba's "Official Sword Art Online Tutorial" I was overjoyed. Sword Art Online had become more than a way to escape the monotony of life when not teaching at my Dojo, or tending to the youngest Orphans. I knew my Orphanage would be fine, I had taught the eldest of them how to care for the younger ones... and how to cook. Even after all this time I still could cook nothing but instant ramen... well, I knew how to cook meat over a campfire... sadly, using modern contraptions to cook always ended in disaster._

_I knew my Dojo would be fine, the most advanced of my first group of students had learned everything I could teach them in my state. Naturally, different students knew different aspects, but together they could teach everything I taught at the Dojo, they were already preparing to take over anyway. _

_I had written a will as soon as I founded the Dojo, and updated it when I opened my Orphanage. They would be taken care of._

_Sword Art Online, after Kayaba's tutorial I was overjoyed. Here was a place I could bring myself back to my peak, and die in battle against another. I would not die wasting away in bed. But, soon after, I realized, there were 9,787 others in this game. Somehow I doubted _they_ were all seeking death in battle as I desired. And so I resolved, I would not die until the final boss fight. If I lived through that, then I would accept that my death would come only at the hands of time._

_**Two Months Later, The Illfang Boss Fight Strategic Meeting**_

_**Immediately after Kibaou's outburst, directly before Agil's intercession**_

_I vaulted over to the stage, landing with my knees bent and my cane held in front me, straightening I said, "Let me see if I understand correctly, you want the beta testers, of which there is no guarantee there ARE any among us here, to hand over everything they can use to fight? Are you an idiot?"_

_The reply of that idiot was hardly satisfactory, "They owe it to us!"_

"_...You really _are _an idiot aren't you? You want those of us most experienced in battle to hand over everything they worked hard to get? And for what? Because people died? I don't think you quite get just what this 'game' _is_, it is _not _a game anymore. From the moment Kayaba locked us into this world it became a _War_. A war in which everything outside the towns is our enemy. In a war, people die, this is unavoidable fact. Even if beta testers went around gathering people into parties and teaching them everything they knew people would _still _die. And anyway, they _did _leave us enough information that being cautious should definitely be enough to enable someone to survive. However, there have been people who killed themselves in a foolhardy attempt to escape, people who have killed other people even if only by ensuring they would die to mobs. People have died. This is a fact. People will die. This also is a fact. No one can change this fact. Human beings make mistakes, computers miscalculate. _People will die._" This lecture was delivered in the same way I taught the students at my Dojo that what I taught them to use for self defense could easily kill, that death was a fact of life, and that if they had to, they should always choose their own and the lives of innocents over the one threatening them. And, that the only ones who should kill, are those prepared to be killed._

"_But..." Kibaou stuttered and spluttered as he tried to come up with a refutation, a way to cling to his misguided ideas._

"_Hmph, I get that you think the beta testers could have done more, however, are you aware of the concept of 'resource flow'? It is a concept which states quite simply that resources, even if unlimited, can only be drawn upon at a certain rate. Because of this, it was in the end, better for the beta testers to do as they did, if they had not then not only would inexperienced people die, trying to perform tasks beyond their ability. But everyone would have been slowed. As it is the fact that we found the boss room this fast, is a byproduct of the fact that nearly 8,000 players are involved and leveling. However, those 8,000 could not have gotten where they are without the 1,000 or fewer beta testers."_

"_I bet you are a beta tester!" Kibaou exclaimed, in a futile effort to refute my arguments._

"_Wrong, I logged into Sword Art Online for the first time on the public opening. I am however, an experienced martial artist and swordsman in the real world, I run a Dojo for armed and unarmed combat." Kibaou turned away and sat back down. Eh, maybe I changed his mind, maybe I did not, does not matter too much in the long run. "Sorry about that Diabel, well, I am going to go find a party now."_

_In the end, I wound up part of the smallest party, partied with two others, named Asuna and Kirito. My own moniker for this game was, Sennin. I felt it fitting._

_**The Fight Against Illfang, and minor Fourth Wall Breakage**_

_Everything was going well, myself, Asuna, and Kirito were working together beautifully to rapidly deal with the Ruin Kobold Sentinels, although, to be honest those two were the only ones with direct teamwork, I just kept getting the kobolds to smash each other... over and over again. Hey, it was amusing, don't judge me. My dance with the remaining Ruin Kobold Sentinels eventually drew me behind Illfang, there I could see the sheath of his secondary weapon fully. "Oi, that's no Talwar!"_

"_How do you know?"_

"_The shape of the sheath is wrong, the hilt and guard are wrong to, supposedly Kayaba made the game so that the weapons were historically accurate, this one looks more like a scaled up nodachi to me!" This conversation had been shouted across the room between myself and Diabel. Now how would he react._

"_Damn, there is no data on nodachi in the guidebook, what do you think?"_

"_If the styles of the monsters are also historically accurate or practical there are two choices. Choice one, Illfang will focus on us one at a time and use downward chops, this one is unlikely because of how many are here. Choice two, wide sweeping slashes that take advantage of the nodachi's size. Probably will be this one as that blade is bigger than a zanbatou."_

"_Alright, you're the expert on swords, what do you recommend?"_

"_It is probable that if only one person engages it will go with the more predictable chopping patterns, the wide slashes will be a bit harder but still predictable."_

"_Alright, we will let you take him on once he draws it."_

_**The Nodachi is drawn**_

"_Back off everyone!" Diabel shouted as Illfang's HP dropped to the last bar. As it drew the blade I moved forward, unfortunately the same reason I had been teaching the older Orphans how to care for the younger ones and the reason I could not cook on a stove for the life of me flared up. I fell alseep. Fortunately my ability in battle was ingrained upon my body and I had fought both zanbatou wielders and nodachi users frequently enough that I would know what to do even while alseep_

_**Perspective change, General**_

_As Sennin bowed his head many thought that he was going to die. And then they heard snoring and knew he was going to die. But, as Illfang raised his sword over his head for the chopping technique Sennin had said he would use. Sennin began to move as soon as the downward chop began. Slipping to the side the nodachi crashed into the ground. And Sennin's cane lashed out, striking Illfangs hand with sufficient force that the boss was forced to change his grip to one handed. As his remaining hand lifted the blade into a slashing movement Senning leaped, landing as the blade swung. Landing on the blade itself, from here he began to move. Dashing up Illfang's blade and arm, once he reached the head he lifted his cane and swung. Illfang suffered the –Stun- status from being struck in the head with sufficient force. Following that Sennin began whacking him upside the head over and over._

_Illfang had been beaten by an old man with cane. Who was also asleep..._

**-Mass Sweatdrop-**

**The End**

**of the chapter...**

A/N: So yeah, most of the time people label Illfang's sword a Nodachi, so I went and looked it up, apparently historically Nodachi were used to make downward cuts and fight calvary... which makes little sense to me but oh well.

So, some of you have noticed that Naruto is in fact, NOT a beta tester. This is correct, Naruto first logged on during the opening. Now, outside of that some people might be annoyed with me for Naruto recognizing the shape of the sheath, this is basically to showcase this fact, Naruto is a damned old Ninja, there are Damned Old Ninja, there are Stupid Ninja, but there are no Damned Old Stupid Ninja(paraphrased from Mercedes Lackey's Take a Thief, original quote "Theys old thieves and theys bold thieves, ain't no old, bold thieves."), so yes, Naruto can recognize blades by their sheath, hilt, guard, marks left by their hitting something, and even the body shape of their wielder(admittedly that last is more IRL)

Some others might be annoyed with Illfang getting beaten with a wooden cane and while sleeping, tbh, that was one of the images that made me write this, so no matter what it is staying. On the other hand if you think Naruto should have a different IGN leave a review with your opinion and why, I really just put it down as Sennin since I needed a name and it worked for me...


End file.
